music

the tiny winged creature flirts her way out to an overwhelmed heart...and comes forth hope.


i find myself reminiscing with a silly piece of tune, strummed somwhere along the strings of a random guitar. the tune comes from somewhere deep within, bringing with it the sounds and smells of home. i hear pa's voice and ma's laughter as i dance on my birthday. in a white frock, with big round eyes i pout at those who tease.. i walk taking my lilttle brother's hand as we sing together in innocent harmony...i relish yesterday's sareng and hope emoinu comes again soon... the cat swings her tail in utmost irritation as i try to pull it one last time...then again she curls up on my lap on a wintry night...i eat a second lunch with pupu and bobok listening with awe to their WW II stories.."the bomb fell right into the mandop"..they say, "all but one were killed"..they say. i hear the same story everyday eating milk and mashed banana...i rush back with the overloaded school bag, jump expertly over the drain and climb in through the kitchen window...of course the cat is waiting on the sill..."one day", she seems to say "you'll fall" and so i did. those cat eyes never lie...i love my new house, i have been waiting for a long time..my very own balcony i thought, like the heroines in the movie, anyway i learnt how to hug a pillow...i swim across for the first time..it was then that i dreamt..an old woman calling me from the gate, ma cooking in the kitchen, "come and buy sangom aphamba:, she says..i shake my head..i don't want to go near her..yet she reckons me..so cat eyes never lie...i see white now, at the gate, as our vehicle turns the corner. i dn't want to remember anymore. i switch the music. it is jazz now. someone's else's hopes and dreams. you never want to loose yourself  long enough not to know your way out. so i change. i'll go back after sometime and start it all over from the beginning.